Tulips and Sunshine and Openness

by N. Jane Allio

I was walking out of my apartment last week on a particularly sunny day. The first day, in fact, that it was warm enough to go out with just a light sweater. Eagerly padding along the walkway I took note of the beautiful red, yellow, purple, and pink tulips that were in full bloom just soaking up the sunlight. Their bright petals bending over backward so far they looked as if they might fall straight off the stem. 

"Burst of Color" by Crystal Wong

What beauty!

I looked at those little flowers and smiled to myself, thinking, they must love the sunshine as I do.

The next day it rained... again. On my less then peppy steps out the door and down the walkway I noticed the tulips again, this time, instead of opening wide for the warm rays of the sun to kiss their petals they nestled together tight as if their petals had not yet seen the sun. 

I was taken aback by this phenomenon. I had learned that nature naturally leaned toward the sun. I did not realize they were so affected by it.

Then it hit me.

I too was like the tulip flower.

Days when the sun is shining high in the sky it is easy to be open, to give and receive love easily without restraint. Other days when the clouds roll in, nothing is going well, and the world is seemingly against me, in defense I clam up. Just like the tulips.

While I may not be able to change the weather outside, I am able to change my perspective.

It is all too easy to clam up and huddle my petals around me, tightly safe in my closed off space. But how can I live life fully if I am scared to peak my head out and see the world around me? I can’t.

If I want to be the bloomed tulip every day, I need to carry the sunshine with me, always. 

I can do that through spending time alone with myself and asking some simple questions:

How am I feeling at the moment?

Am I at peace? If not, what is bothering me and why?

Is this something I can change or is it out of my control? Is this something I need to hold onto or should I let it go?

If I am in a peaceful state, am I emitting this peace and love to others through my actions and words? Or am I hording the light that shines brightly within me?

Through answering these questions and taking appropriate action, I am able to turn on my own light and carry it with me throughout my day, not only making my inner world brighter, but perhaps brightening up somebody else's day too.

I know I am not the only person affected by me, just as the sun affects different life forms in the world, so we affect others. When my light is dimmed by emotions, feelings, and thoughts that have gone unchecked I am at risk of missing out on a wonderful experience.

Checking in with my internal world on a regular basis allows the light within me to steadily burn like a lighthouse in the midst of a dark storm, not like a naked candle which is easily puffed out by a draft. 

It does take time, effort, and patience but as I am continually learning, just because it rained today, doesn't mean it has to continue to dampen my mood, or that today can't be a beautiful day. It only means it is raining – and a little rain is good. It nourishes and cleanses our bodies and souls.

The choice is up to me, just as it is up to you. 

Will you choose to light up your world or will you remain in darkness?

Connecting With the Inner-Child

by N. Jane Allio

The first day of sun in a week was a welcome surprise. I woke up Friday morning to find, not snow, but gorgeous rays of sunlight dancing through my mesh curtains kissing my face. What a glorious day, I thought to myself, and determined to not let it go by without fully basking in its majesty.

 So, I called up a couple of friends, one of which has an extremely energetic two-year-old that loves to play, and ventured outside. On our walk we absolutely had to stop by the neighborhood park for rounds of climbing big winding structures, teeter-tottering, sliding, and of course taking a spill or two in the bark.

Photo contribution by Crystal Wong

Running, climbing, feeling my muscles burn hanging up-side-down, blood rushing to my face, the sheer thrill of hanging there without a care in the world, flying freely as I flew down the slide and straight off the tail into the dirt. Listening to shrieking laughter fill the atmosphere accompanied by a multitude of smiles. This is how memories are made during sunny days of childhood play. 

All to often our daily life fills with stress, work, worries, bills, errands, chores, and other "gown-up" obligations that the kid within us begins to get lost under a pile of dishes, paperwork, and un-matched socks. Forgetting to take the time, like that dear little two-year-old, to pause, smell the daisies, and say, "Mmmmmmm." 

When we don't allow ourselves the time to stop and do something childish every now and again we begin to become callus to our surroundings, eventually we go through our days like a work horse, blinders on as not to get distracted from the road. 

Each moment is unique unto itself allowing ourselves to go through each day with child-like wide eyed wonderment does not negate the wisdom that has been gained, but rather allows it to be applied in new and different areas. Not to mention, humbling pride along the way.

At least this is what my experience has been.

After I embraced this childishness within myself, it manifested in a beautifully productive way, instead of coming out during a frustration ending in embarrassment. Ignoring the little voice with-in saying to take the long way home, or just take a break for a minute and go for a walk, suppresses needs that yearn to be filled. Taking the time to blow of a little steam by being aware, honoring, and embracing these necessities opens the hatch of the internal pressure cooker, allowing relaxation and happiness to fill the newly empty space. 

So if you feel stressed, bogged down by work, or just plain muggy, try skipping down a wooded path, sitting in a garden, climbing a tree, or whatever you feel compelled to do, I am almost certain your frown will turn up-side-down. 

Opening the Door of Perspective

By N. Jane Allio

Photo contribution by Crystal Wong

My mother was earning her college degree in psychology while I was in high school. Needless to say, I ended up listening to her tell me about different cases and scenarios she was studying or wound up discussing some theory she came across and thought to share. I found almost everything she talked about incredibly fascinating.

On one particular occasion I recall her telling me about the idea of differing perspectives. Sharing the story of a family getting into a heated discussion, then when each person was asked what happened, they all gave a story that was just a little bit different. Signifying that one person may not see something the same way you see it. It could be a situation like the aforementioned, or perhaps a painting, or the wording of a math problem, the lyric to a song, or a street corner scene, etc.

Sounds elementary I know, but for the first time I began to grasp a deeper meaning. Yes, I am the only person seeing with my eyes, hearing with my ears, smelling with my nose, touching with my hands, tasting with my tongue, and interpreting an array of emotions that bloom with in me. However, I am not the only person in this world, I am not the only one capable of seeing, thinking, reasoning, feeling, or concluding. I am one of seven billion. Among those seven billion there are those with more knowledge than I possess, better skills and qualifications, wider ranges of influence, and etc. Beyond mere global population, the Earth is one of an infinite number of planets in the vast envelope of the universe.

For most, at one time or another, such thoughts have the capability of flinging the mind into a ferocious storm of self pity and doubt; all about how insignificant the existence is of one human life. I know this because thoughts like these used to occupy my mind a lot.

If I told you I now consider this truly comforting, would you believe it? Well it is - to me at least.

This is because when I consider how many others there are it does not take away from me, rather, it adds to the uniqueness that I possess. In the whole universe there is none like me or you. Our talents, abilities, ways of thinking, credentials, or lack there of, all help to create a beautiful world with diversity that ought to be celebrated.

Unfortunately, there are those that are severely frighted because everyone is not a like. Wars have been raged in the names of religion, race, virtue, and vengeance, in order to force mass conformity.

Now what if we took that fear and turned it inside out? Shifting the paradigm of our thoughts and looking, not only at each other but also the world, with humble openness instead of stubborn arrogance.

Brooks Atkinson said, “The most fatal illusion is the settled point of view. Since life is growth and motion, a fixed point of view kills anybody who has one.”

Our earth is in constant forward motion, it only make sense that we ourselves are as well, physically, emotionally, and mentally. We need only to open the door of perspective in order to see how.

This beautiful video sums it all up.

Astrophysicist Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson was asked by a reader of TIME magazine, "What is the most astounding fact you can share with us about the Universe?" This is his answer...

Carpe Diem

By N. Jane Allio

I found myself wallowing between the past and the present today. Dwelling willfully in the memories of family and friends far away. Such gloom was beginning to steal the sun out of my usually sunny disposition.

While it is always pleasant to think upon the past, getting wrapped up in it so much that I am not being fully aware takes for granted the beautiful moment at hand.

Preoccupying my mind by living in memories of the past disconnects me from that special place in my mind and body where I allow the day to organically unfold before me; like a flower's petals unfolding to bask in the first rays of the morning sun. The little nuances that give each day a different meaning get drowned out by the white-noise of normality. Consequently resulting in missed opportunities, however big or small.

I usually tread down this road when I do not take time to focus my mind which, for me, means meditating and practicing yoga in the morning. These habitual rituals tidy my mind, so to speak, leaving a clean space for what the day may have in store. Allowing each passing minute to be new and special in its own way.

There is no moment like right now, to fully appreciate it I must be fully present. How can I appreciate the view if I don't open my eyes and look around? Well I can't. I must open my eyes and look, and when my eyes are open I see that beauty abounds.

Photo by N. Jane Allio

An Everyday Contemplation.

By N. Jane Allio

So I am sitting at a café typing away sipping my tea with my head phones in – not listening to music.

I am not sure when exactly I got into the habit of doing this. I am pretty sure it was when I was in high school and would study either out at a cafe or at home in a (for lack of a better term) “public area” and I wanted not to be disturbed by others, yet didn’t mind the ambient sounds drifting in one ear and out the other- like the aroma of freshly baked pie filling the air with a sweetness that is almost edible. The sound is comforting to me. It is a sign of people living life, being out in the world, doing exciting things.

In the midst of all these sounds I cannot help but single out a comment here, an exclamation there, the low rumble of music playing quietly. My eyes wonder about glancing at the faces of people coming and going. I know it is a little obvious, but it amazes me at how much diversity there is in this world. There are so many different people and sounds, I am blessed to be able to hear and see what is happening around me. For instance, there is this girl sitting at the barista bar with a beautifully crafted Mohawk, such an encouraging site! What kind of place would the world be if everyone expressed themselves so freely, allowing their courageous creativity to touch passersby with unsolicited inspiration?

Some days, I find the need to simply pause and appreciate what this life has given.
People, nature, the world, they all inspire me to create something magical.
So in the spirit of thanks here is a little rhyme in, of course, three quarters time:)

Imagination.
My word of choice for contemplation,
gives way to unbridled visualization-
of grey skies turning blue –
sound too true for you?

Well then let me give you a pop,
that bubble has now been stopped:
the double sum of a troublesome thought,
can only be plucked by wrought.
So as today comes to a close,
say, “thank you” to your pinky toes.

Photo by N.Jane Allio

Overcoming Defeatist Thoughts Inhibiting Creative Mojo Flow

By N. Jane Allio

I've come to the board today without any agenda. Only to write what comes into my head.
I have not been posting my writing on my blog much, which is not unlike-me. In fact, I have barely post on my blog since I started it this past summer.
So I ask myself, why? Well now that I think on it, because I often succumb to a few different defeatist thoughts which inhibit my creative mojo...

Defeatist thought #1: "This piece is not good enough for others to read."
This is my number one stumbling block about 80% of the time. I am extremely critical of myself, at times to an un-healthy extent. However, I am working to try and knock this thought out of the brain park for good. So from now on if I write it - I am to posting it. Starting with this piece then moving onto the plethora of back-logged half written pieces and when the fancy strikes to write, as it most often does, just doing it. No more excuses. No more hesitation. Finally unveiling that which lies beneath the skin for me and anyone else who wishes to read.

Defeatist thought #2: "No one actually reads my blog besides some lonely Alaskan shrouded in the darkness of winter" -- hah!
I can't think of a better pep-talk for myself other than a quote from Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come." alright lady, if you write it (and post it!), they will read it. To whoever is reading in Alaska ~ shouts out homie! Thanks for reading!

Defeatist thought #3: "I am scared to write what is really is on my mind for fear of criticism and rejection by people."
In the past few years I have challenged myself and most of the beliefs I used to, and in some cases still do, hold. I find that I am ever questioning and changing. For so long I thought I was supposed to be this and supposed to do that because of this reason or that, etc. Well no more I say! I have had enough of the games. So get this cyber space, if you don't like what I'm saying you don't have to read my blog... I don't care if you're the Pope.
I am not out to change people’s minds or to give some sort of affirmation to any one belief. I am here to be me. I cannot do that whilst hiding behind fear of rejection.
So with that said I am going to swallow this lump of fear building in the back of my throat and "share" this on my social network page. To be quite plain with myself, if I don't promote me who the heck will?

Defeatist thought #4: "This is never going to lead anywhere."
As I think to myself sitting here drinking my morning tea, "Does it have to go somewhere?" ...It already brought me to the coffee shop, Hey-O! I digress... When I write, I write for myself, which is one of the reasons I have such difficulty sharing with others what finally flows from the brain down the neck to the shoulders and through the arms to the tips of the fingers and finally onto little black and white keys that make little black and white words in a big world that is anything but black and white.
Of course I want to be successful, but that definition of success should not be tied to this blog. Writing is my outlet it has been ever since I knew how to write. Rather, I will now attempt to re-shape my idea of success to time-management. If I manage my time well, slotting out time blocks for specific projects and do not procrastinate, I know I will feel I am successfully using my time to the fullest. Especially if I actually post what I am writing instead of hording it for my eyes only!!


As it stands I am on a little mission for myself. I have set some personal goals to work toward. Every time I find myself facing one of these defeatist thoughts, I am going to pull this back up and remind myself, I have the power to pull away the shades and let the beautiful sunny rays shine into the darkness. It is up to me where my mind takes me and where my feet go, there is no one telling me what to do or where to go but me. So, I am putting on the captain’s hat, taking the helm, and plunging into the abyss with all my passion behind me.

If I am the only one who has gained something from this post I will consider it a success.

Seeing as I have already learned so much through the processes of creation, I will consider success complete once I post this for the eyes of the world to read as they will and fulfilling the on-going goals which I have set for myself.

And so begins a new epoch on which to embark.

Until tomorrow, thank you all for reading!

"Keep Calm and Carry On"

by N. Jane Allio

  I really want to complain right now... let the emotional flood gates open into a sea of self pity and encumbered regret. Instead, I am going to list the reasons why I can still be positive in the midst of this storm passing through: 

1. The sun is shinning and it is a beautiful day here in Vancouver.

2. My health is in superb condition.

3. My husband is well and safe.

4. My parents and siblings are all safe and alive.

5. I laughed with a homeless man today who offered me cashews

6. I had a wonderful discussion with the ESL discussion group I volunteer leading.

7. Writing is becoming easier for me as I practice everyday.

8. I have had over 200 views to my blog page (thanks everyone!)

9. I have food enough, shelter enough, and clothing of plenty.

10. My apartment is clean and orderly.

11. I am still sore from Yoga yesterday.

.... I could go on, but I don't think I there is a need. 

   I find it remarkable how the compulsion to complain and wallow is so strong, yet will and determination is much stronger. Ladies (and Gents :-) I am not sure if you are aware of how powerful you actually are?

   I know at times I doubt my strength and allow my inner dialogue to get the better of my well being, following which I feel discouraged that I am not positively changing continuing to spiral into old habits and ways of thinking. 

 Today, however, there is a different focus. You. Your strengths, your ability to keep going in the face of fear, grief, hardship, heartache, body-ache, 0 dollars in the bank with bills on the way, surprise difficulties, and the every-day-hum-drum-feeling-numb. These are ways the days go and get jumbled into a mountain (or a mole-hill) that just wont seem to get out of your head. Some people like this feeling and are content to stay, however if you are anything like me, you want these feelings to go away. 

  Much easier said than done, yes.... but I just did it, with my list, so perhaps you can too. Muster that  tough that is inside of you and make a list of things to smile about and then actually smile. Let it wash over you until you feel it in your toes, like a good morning yawn-stretch. 

  The junk that got you down in the first place will more than likely still be present but the way in which you see it might change in the hue of your new mood. 

  Embrace the power within to sway the way you are feeling and allow yourself to be positive, upbeat, and constantly moving forward. As the British saying goes, "Keep Calm and Carry On"!