I really want to complain right now... let the emotional flood gates open into a sea of self pity and encumbered regret. Instead, I am going to list the reasons why I can still be positive in the midst of this storm passing through:
1. The sun is shinning and it is a beautiful day here in Vancouver.
2. My health is in superb condition.
3. My husband is well and safe.
4. My parents and siblings are all safe and alive.
5. I laughed with a homeless man today who offered me cashews
6. I had a wonderful discussion with the ESL discussion group I volunteer leading.
7. Writing is becoming easier for me as I practice everyday.
8. I have had over 200 views to my blog page (thanks everyone!)
9. I have food enough, shelter enough, and clothing of plenty.
10. My apartment is clean and orderly.
11. I am still sore from Yoga yesterday.
.... I could go on, but I don't think I there is a need.
I find it remarkable how the compulsion to complain and wallow is so strong, yet will and determination is much stronger. Ladies (and Gents :-) I am not sure if you are aware of how powerful you actually are?
I know at times I doubt my strength and allow my inner dialogue to get the better of my well being, following which I feel discouraged that I am not positively changing continuing to spiral into old habits and ways of thinking.
Today, however, there is a different focus. You. Your strengths, your ability to keep going in the face of fear, grief, hardship, heartache, body-ache, 0 dollars in the bank with bills on the way, surprise difficulties, and the every-day-hum-drum-feeling-numb. These are ways the days go and get jumbled into a mountain (or a mole-hill) that just wont seem to get out of your head. Some people like this feeling and are content to stay, however if you are anything like me, you want these feelings to go away.
Much easier said than done, yes.... but I just did it, with my list, so perhaps you can too. Muster that tough that is inside of you and make a list of things to smile about and then actually smile. Let it wash over you until you feel it in your toes, like a good morning yawn-stretch.
The junk that got you down in the first place will more than likely still be present but the way in which you see it might change in the hue of your new mood.
Embrace the power within to sway the way you are feeling and allow yourself to be positive, upbeat, and constantly moving forward. As the British saying goes, "Keep Calm and Carry On"!