Monday, August 13, 2012

When the Train Stands Still

by N. Jane Allio

While it is important to always be in the moment, it is also, quite as important, not to forget about the future.
  These past few summer months have come with much welcomed company, my mother, family friends, and relatives of sorts have graced us we their presences and I must say my husband and I have played quite the host and hostess.
 However, beneath this sunny exterior there was me, brooding, anxious, full of what ifs. I’ve been so consumed with my inability to leave the country of my new residence that I became gloomy, lazy and stressed over a situation that is completely out of my control.
 During these pleasantries my mind had been pre-occupied with me, and about this very moment of time that seems to be dragging on and on and on. “When would it ever end??” I thought to myself repeatedly. I kept thinking about the different ways I ended up where I am today. I began to doubt if I had chosen the right path. Perhaps this was not my destiny, I had chosen wrong.
 I let myself carry this thread until it had woven itself into a blanket I wrapped myself and napped in ever so cozily.
Photo contribution by Crystal Wong
 I lost sight of what these moments in life create, a beautiful flowing river of life that carries us forward into our future.
  Sometimes, when the cold North winds blow, it is best to remember that this is just a season, and seasons do change.
 The question now, is what to do in the time in between?
I chose action. What I choose to do now will shape my future forever, so being ever present to make the best decisions possible with the time I have is key. Taking steps today that will guide me to a better tomorrow is the way I choose to walk.
That means taking a look in the mirror and asking some tough questions and then, maybe the hardest part, answering those questions honestly.
If we aren’t honest with ourselves, who will be?
There is no invisible conductor driving the train on its’ tracks, we are the conductors, “we are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams (excerpt from Ode by Arthur O'Shaughnessy).” We are the ones who shape our life the way it will be. There is no time to waste for today is passing away and birthing tomorrow.

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