Carpe Diem

By N. Jane Allio

I found myself wallowing between the past and the present today. Dwelling willfully in the memories of family and friends far away. Such gloom was beginning to steal the sun out of my usually sunny disposition.

While it is always pleasant to think upon the past, getting wrapped up in it so much that I am not being fully aware takes for granted the beautiful moment at hand.

Preoccupying my mind by living in memories of the past disconnects me from that special place in my mind and body where I allow the day to organically unfold before me; like a flower's petals unfolding to bask in the first rays of the morning sun. The little nuances that give each day a different meaning get drowned out by the white-noise of normality. Consequently resulting in missed opportunities, however big or small.

I usually tread down this road when I do not take time to focus my mind which, for me, means meditating and practicing yoga in the morning. These habitual rituals tidy my mind, so to speak, leaving a clean space for what the day may have in store. Allowing each passing minute to be new and special in its own way.

There is no moment like right now, to fully appreciate it I must be fully present. How can I appreciate the view if I don't open my eyes and look around? Well I can't. I must open my eyes and look, and when my eyes are open I see that beauty abounds.

Photo by N. Jane Allio

An Everyday Contemplation.

By N. Jane Allio

So I am sitting at a café typing away sipping my tea with my head phones in – not listening to music.

I am not sure when exactly I got into the habit of doing this. I am pretty sure it was when I was in high school and would study either out at a cafe or at home in a (for lack of a better term) “public area” and I wanted not to be disturbed by others, yet didn’t mind the ambient sounds drifting in one ear and out the other- like the aroma of freshly baked pie filling the air with a sweetness that is almost edible. The sound is comforting to me. It is a sign of people living life, being out in the world, doing exciting things.

In the midst of all these sounds I cannot help but single out a comment here, an exclamation there, the low rumble of music playing quietly. My eyes wonder about glancing at the faces of people coming and going. I know it is a little obvious, but it amazes me at how much diversity there is in this world. There are so many different people and sounds, I am blessed to be able to hear and see what is happening around me. For instance, there is this girl sitting at the barista bar with a beautifully crafted Mohawk, such an encouraging site! What kind of place would the world be if everyone expressed themselves so freely, allowing their courageous creativity to touch passersby with unsolicited inspiration?

Some days, I find the need to simply pause and appreciate what this life has given.
People, nature, the world, they all inspire me to create something magical.
So in the spirit of thanks here is a little rhyme in, of course, three quarters time:)

Imagination.
My word of choice for contemplation,
gives way to unbridled visualization-
of grey skies turning blue –
sound too true for you?

Well then let me give you a pop,
that bubble has now been stopped:
the double sum of a troublesome thought,
can only be plucked by wrought.
So as today comes to a close,
say, “thank you” to your pinky toes.

Photo by N.Jane Allio

Overcoming Defeatist Thoughts Inhibiting Creative Mojo Flow

By N. Jane Allio

I've come to the board today without any agenda. Only to write what comes into my head.
I have not been posting my writing on my blog much, which is not unlike-me. In fact, I have barely post on my blog since I started it this past summer.
So I ask myself, why? Well now that I think on it, because I often succumb to a few different defeatist thoughts which inhibit my creative mojo...

Defeatist thought #1: "This piece is not good enough for others to read."
This is my number one stumbling block about 80% of the time. I am extremely critical of myself, at times to an un-healthy extent. However, I am working to try and knock this thought out of the brain park for good. So from now on if I write it - I am to posting it. Starting with this piece then moving onto the plethora of back-logged half written pieces and when the fancy strikes to write, as it most often does, just doing it. No more excuses. No more hesitation. Finally unveiling that which lies beneath the skin for me and anyone else who wishes to read.

Defeatist thought #2: "No one actually reads my blog besides some lonely Alaskan shrouded in the darkness of winter" -- hah!
I can't think of a better pep-talk for myself other than a quote from Field of Dreams, "If you build it, they will come." alright lady, if you write it (and post it!), they will read it. To whoever is reading in Alaska ~ shouts out homie! Thanks for reading!

Defeatist thought #3: "I am scared to write what is really is on my mind for fear of criticism and rejection by people."
In the past few years I have challenged myself and most of the beliefs I used to, and in some cases still do, hold. I find that I am ever questioning and changing. For so long I thought I was supposed to be this and supposed to do that because of this reason or that, etc. Well no more I say! I have had enough of the games. So get this cyber space, if you don't like what I'm saying you don't have to read my blog... I don't care if you're the Pope.
I am not out to change people’s minds or to give some sort of affirmation to any one belief. I am here to be me. I cannot do that whilst hiding behind fear of rejection.
So with that said I am going to swallow this lump of fear building in the back of my throat and "share" this on my social network page. To be quite plain with myself, if I don't promote me who the heck will?

Defeatist thought #4: "This is never going to lead anywhere."
As I think to myself sitting here drinking my morning tea, "Does it have to go somewhere?" ...It already brought me to the coffee shop, Hey-O! I digress... When I write, I write for myself, which is one of the reasons I have such difficulty sharing with others what finally flows from the brain down the neck to the shoulders and through the arms to the tips of the fingers and finally onto little black and white keys that make little black and white words in a big world that is anything but black and white.
Of course I want to be successful, but that definition of success should not be tied to this blog. Writing is my outlet it has been ever since I knew how to write. Rather, I will now attempt to re-shape my idea of success to time-management. If I manage my time well, slotting out time blocks for specific projects and do not procrastinate, I know I will feel I am successfully using my time to the fullest. Especially if I actually post what I am writing instead of hording it for my eyes only!!


As it stands I am on a little mission for myself. I have set some personal goals to work toward. Every time I find myself facing one of these defeatist thoughts, I am going to pull this back up and remind myself, I have the power to pull away the shades and let the beautiful sunny rays shine into the darkness. It is up to me where my mind takes me and where my feet go, there is no one telling me what to do or where to go but me. So, I am putting on the captain’s hat, taking the helm, and plunging into the abyss with all my passion behind me.

If I am the only one who has gained something from this post I will consider it a success.

Seeing as I have already learned so much through the processes of creation, I will consider success complete once I post this for the eyes of the world to read as they will and fulfilling the on-going goals which I have set for myself.

And so begins a new epoch on which to embark.

Until tomorrow, thank you all for reading!

"Keep Calm and Carry On"

by N. Jane Allio

  I really want to complain right now... let the emotional flood gates open into a sea of self pity and encumbered regret. Instead, I am going to list the reasons why I can still be positive in the midst of this storm passing through: 

1. The sun is shinning and it is a beautiful day here in Vancouver.

2. My health is in superb condition.

3. My husband is well and safe.

4. My parents and siblings are all safe and alive.

5. I laughed with a homeless man today who offered me cashews

6. I had a wonderful discussion with the ESL discussion group I volunteer leading.

7. Writing is becoming easier for me as I practice everyday.

8. I have had over 200 views to my blog page (thanks everyone!)

9. I have food enough, shelter enough, and clothing of plenty.

10. My apartment is clean and orderly.

11. I am still sore from Yoga yesterday.

.... I could go on, but I don't think I there is a need. 

   I find it remarkable how the compulsion to complain and wallow is so strong, yet will and determination is much stronger. Ladies (and Gents :-) I am not sure if you are aware of how powerful you actually are?

   I know at times I doubt my strength and allow my inner dialogue to get the better of my well being, following which I feel discouraged that I am not positively changing continuing to spiral into old habits and ways of thinking. 

 Today, however, there is a different focus. You. Your strengths, your ability to keep going in the face of fear, grief, hardship, heartache, body-ache, 0 dollars in the bank with bills on the way, surprise difficulties, and the every-day-hum-drum-feeling-numb. These are ways the days go and get jumbled into a mountain (or a mole-hill) that just wont seem to get out of your head. Some people like this feeling and are content to stay, however if you are anything like me, you want these feelings to go away. 

  Much easier said than done, yes.... but I just did it, with my list, so perhaps you can too. Muster that  tough that is inside of you and make a list of things to smile about and then actually smile. Let it wash over you until you feel it in your toes, like a good morning yawn-stretch. 

  The junk that got you down in the first place will more than likely still be present but the way in which you see it might change in the hue of your new mood. 

  Embrace the power within to sway the way you are feeling and allow yourself to be positive, upbeat, and constantly moving forward. As the British saying goes, "Keep Calm and Carry On"!

Prism

by N. Jane Allio

Blue the color of you
Calming, Chopping, Chattering you
Home beloved, Life giving, Life taking you
Earth-wide, Cloud-wide, Being-wide, you.

Green the color of your tarns
Simulacrum charm of the mountain's youth
Trees and Leaves and Reeves, you
Captured in the morning dew.

White the color of your wisps
Fluffy dust-lights from the sky, you
Falling to the agog earth below you
Arresting to the land, the trees, the me's beneath, you.

Grey the color of you bedraggled
Filched and Hallowed, Imbibed, you
Heedless of our greed for you
Needless of our feed of you.

Transparent the color of your strength
To Fill and Bleed and Lead us, you
In the wind and as the rain you
Play with us a maritime game.
     For we will come and we will go
     But you will always flow.

The Tasty - Updated

Good Morning Readers!

  I have added a new recipe to The Tasty: Hand-Whisked Mini Meringues & Berry Marmalade. These really do melt in your mouth and are such a nice alternative to traditional cookies. I hope you enjoy them as much as we did last night!

Thanks for reading,
 N. Jane Allio 

Still We Walk Together

by N. Jane Allio

We have walked together
though streets of cities unknown,
Lingered in gardens
or on bridge tops.
Sailed side by side on oceans of blue green and white foam,
Flooded rooms with laughter and witty banter,
skipped by the river of the Chattahoochee,
Climbed snow-capped mountains in rented boots,
and swam in frigid waters for New Year's custom.
Holy united on forgotten farmland country roads,
glistened in the moonlight on soft pillowed sand
on cold September nights,
Scaled rooftops, train trestles,
parking decks, and tree limbs.
Listened while you spake softly to me
and watched as you got down on one knee,
Waited patiently miles apart for "we"
and even married,
Conjointly, journeyed to foreign lands
in search of a new dwelling to call our own.
We have walked together in lifetimes passed,
down the lane of our toasty happy home,
through the turbulent waves of life's storm,
Braving fear of uncertainty and loss,
Breathing the crispness of winter's first wind,
Basking naked in the rays of summer sunlight
so temperate and kind.
Clothed in garments of patience,
Rooted in everlasting love,
Mounted upon the wings of hope,
Still we walk together.